Standing Out is About Being Uniqueness

It sometimes seems cliche to tell people that bullies are jealous, or that they are bullies because they have been bullied themselves. Cliches are like stereotypes, there's a truth to them. Over the years we have heard more and more heartbreaking stories about the tragedies that come with being bullied, at all ages.

Darren Hayes - photographer unknown

Darren Hayes, the captivating front man of the iconic duo Savage Garden, recently had an enlightening conversation with Sarah Grynberg about the insight he gained during his youth when he was bullied by peers as well as his father. Hayes bravely shared his experiences, one that many people can relate to just for being different. When asked what advice he would give to those experiencing bullying, Hayes says that the very thing that makes people a target of bullying is what makes them unique. Sure, we hear that all the time, but he adds "all of this peer pressure -- it's all designed to make you keep your head down and not stick out, but later on in life sticking out is the thing that makes you extraordinary and rare."

Push/Pull of Sticking Out

In a world full of competition, especially as children and teens, our talents offer us opportunities that others don't get as easily. When competition has an advantage, finding ways to sabotage that advantage to improve our chances is how animals and people survive. The prey animal that has the better speed, better vision, bigger size or smaller but faster agility is less likely to become the next meal. Survival in a basic sense is about not being eaten. As humans, survival is also feeling included, and the moment we show that we are different, we become interesting and that can make us competition for others that are also trying to be interesting in order to gain the popularity contest, the promotion at work, or the chance to be a star.

Hayes underscored the significance of celebrating individuality rather than hiding it. He passionately believes that what makes us different should be viewed as a strength. “Our uniqueness is our greatest asset,” he stated, urging listeners to embrace their distinctive qualities.

Through his music and personal experiences, Hayes has become a source of inspiration for many who have faced bullying. He encourages his fans, especially young people, to see that being different is not just acceptable but essential for creativity and change. According to research from the American Psychological Association, students who embrace their uniqueness often show resilience and better mental health outcomes.

Lessons Learned from Adversity

When reflecting on his past, Hayes pinpointed several life lessons gained from overcoming bullying. He emphasized that resilience is crucial in navigating adversity. His painful experiences became the very foundation for the strength and passion he possesses today. Hayes encouraged individuals to surround themselves with supportive friends, family, and communities that lift them up. He recounted how having a trusted support network helped him feel secure enough to express himself freely without fear of judgment. This sense of belonging dramatically aided his healing journey. He also stressed the importance of self-reflection and self-care. Prioritizing mental well-being equips individuals to handle negativity better and fosters a healthy mindset.

The Journey Forward

Hayes is most known for his role as the front man of Savage Garden with then musical partner, Daniel Jones. Their relationship, and the band, ended bitterly. While he continues to grow both personally and artistically, he remains committed to transforming his experiences into messages filled with hope. In our digital world, where bullying can spread quickly and easily, his insights are incredibly pertinent. He encourages everyone to use their stories as a source of power. Rather than allowing past traumas to define them, people can turn their struggles into art and purpose. Sharing personal stories can inspire others and foster positive change in communities.

You can view the full interview here: